Motherhood has its ups and downs. It is definitely more than I have imagined. The never-ending feeds, nappy changing and sleep deprivation. It is exhausting. After battling several weeks of baby blues, with lots of family support, the fog is finally lifting. I am pleased to say that I am now enjoying motherhood. I love Baby Josie. There is an overwhelming feeling of love and happiness every time I see her face.
Josie is almost six months of age and I am starting to get a hang of balancing work and family life. Thank goodness I have found a trusting nanny and with the help of my mum. Mum is the word! I am returning to work but only one half day weekly to fortnightly. Depending on how much sleep I have or lack, more sessions will be based around this little person for now. We have waited seven years for this miracle. I think we can justify spending as much time as I want with baby Josie.
Ever since becoming a mother, I understand and appreciate my own mother, Stella, a lot more. I never understood why she cried so easily. She snores readily and can fall asleep on any sitting surface. She drools in deep sleep and complains how chubby her tummy looks. After delivering a 4-kg baby, I am following my mother’s footsteps.
I drool. I snore. I have learnt to fall asleep within a heartbeat. My tummy is no longer flat and toned, it is decorated with pink stretchy marks and bloated all the time. I cry at commercials, photos and even a distant memory. I have become my mum. I am a new mum. I feel completely vulnerable.
Perhaps it is vulnerability which makes us human; to truly feel and have absolutely no control of everyday life. Strange to me, as a doctor. Life, is currently out of control. I kind of like it.